Thursday, October 22, 2015

My beliefs v. your beliefs

Oprah Winfrey – Belief    Oct. 22, 2015

I’ve been watching Oprah Winfrey’s series on Belief. It has been so interesting to recognize that the most bizarre rituals and practices of the world’s religions are no more bizarre than the Catholic culture I knew. We attend a ritual that turns bread into a body and wine into blood and then we eat it! We don’t eat meat on Friday and used to fast before Communion. We used to go to hell for missing mass on Sunday. Babies who died before being baptized went to Limbo and sinners who died but didn’t quite deserve hell were sent to Purgatory. We had prayer cards that if read, could knock out a certain number of days for a loved one who might be in Purgatory. Sins were broken down into mortal and venial and regardless of how you had lived your entire life, dying after having committed a mortal sin (like missing mass), would send you straight to hell. I have a distinct memory of having gone to confession then gone to mass and having received communion. For just a few minutes after communion, I was sin-free.  So much planning went into enjoying a few minutes of sinlessness. 

Being raised mostly by my grandmother, who kept many of the customs she grew up with in Italy, added a whole other level to some of the strange Catholic traditions I learned. Catholic grade school, high school and college, Catholic family and extended family and Catholic friends and neighbors all kept me insulated and embedded in all things Catholic. While there is a lot to be said for the wonderful education I received and the strict guidelines for behavior that kept me out of a lot of trouble, I felt like I had stepped off of a cliff when I got a divorce and found myself outside of the most powerful force in my life.

At the time I divorced, I was forbidden to receive Communion. In order to get back in to the church, I had to go through an extensive and expensive legal process in the church. I started the process but when my advocate started to explore ways to circumvent Canon Law in order to get the annulment, I lost all faith in the Catholic Church. How can you fool God? The church has since changed its stance on divorced Catholics but that presented a problem too. The church changed its stance on a lot of things that at one time represented eternal condemnation. What used to send you to hell was now OK.  How can you trust a religion that can be that wrong about itself?

I began to study the Bible as opposed to the Catechism. After 6 years of Bible Study Fellowship, I kept my Christian faith but realized that there was a lot about my Catholic faith that had left indelible marks on me and those marks would have to go if I were ever to find a genuine belief. Over the years, I’ve questioned almost everything. As I think about dying, the issue has become a little more acute. What has remained is a history between God and me. My belief was bestowed upon me, nurtured, imbedded, enforced, and reinforced. It was all I ever knew and so it was something I could not leave. It had always been a part of me. However, all the trappings of the faith were discarded. There hasn’t been a denomination yet, that I have totally accepted.

When I look back at some of the silly things I used to do as part of my religion, the silly things I saw on the Oprah special were easier to understand. We try to find ways to persuade God to answer our prayers. Whether we jump from a cliff or climb stairs on our knees, fast, perform painful penances or twirl like a dervish we use the culture we know to praise our God and ask for help.


More important than how we worship is why.  I think it is a combination of two things.  I think people often experience a feeling of there being something else whether through déjà vu or coincidence or a sense of something more.  People also often experience a sense of helplessness.  I might just be talking to myself but I feel like I am talking to God and that He hears me. Perhaps I have my God because it is terrifying to think that what we see is all there is.  Perhaps what I feel is a universal need and that is why religion exists in all cultures. I cannot prove my God to anyone and while I acknowledge a human need for there to be a God, I don’t see that as a reason to believe there is not a God. I have personally experienced enough “God” moments to know there is something beyond me. Apparently, a lot of other people have had similar experiences. There’s a lot of faith out there. How that faith is expressed probably depends upon where you were born, what your parents believed or any number of random encounters that have led to one faith or another. Regardless of what you call your God or how you worship your God or how you implore your God for help, it is not silly, it’s just different from what I know.

No comments:

Post a Comment