Life After Death

       Even if we had proof that there were life after death, it would still be a daunting event to anti-  cipate. In nearly every religion there is an account of someone resurrecting from death. As long as man has been able to preserve and pass on his thoughts or practices, stories of the afterlife have been depicted. I am intimately aware of the background of Christianity, the Bible, ancient culture, and Catholicism. Things that used to be presented as absolute truths (Limbo, purgatory, meat on Friday, St. Christopher) no longer exist. The Dead Sea scrolls and other old manuscripts were written earlier than the gospels upon which the New testament is based. There are significant contradictions  in these writings with some pretty basic tenets in current Bible translations. Likewise, from kings to councils to translations from the original, Greek to Latin or Aramaic, there have been significant changes made by man.  All that being said, it is difficult for me to pay attention to the rules of religions or take the Bible literally.
      One of the stories in the Bible involves the risen Christ appearing to Thomas to prove that He had indeed returned from the dead. He tells Thomas "You believe because you have seen. Blessed are those who believe and have not seen." My faith in a life after death has been helped by seeing.    
      Someone I completely trust has the ability to detect the presence of a recently deceased person. There have been times when he has even sensed the spirit of the person who has come to escort the recently deceased. Most of his experiences happen at the funeral or viewing but it doesn't always happen.  This tells me that some people are ready to leave immediately and some are allowed to stay awhile to adjust slowly. No part of this experience contradicts any tenets of Christianity or Catholicism. In fact, his description of sensing the identity of the person rather than seeing a face or body, answers questions I've had about what we look like in heaven. The fact that he sensed someone who had died a long time ago as the escort tells me that the 'soul' of a person continues to exist. This is a very personal experience and I am not putting it on this blog to invite questions or criticism. I am just explaining why I am confident that there is a God and life after death.
      I think that the idea that death ends everything is far harder to accept and much sadder than knowing there is still life after death. We all have to go through the process of dying which begs questions like, "Does it hurt?"  "Will I be able to have control over any pain?" "How long does the process last?" "May I die at home?' "Once I stop chemo, how long will it be before I am incapacitated?"  I realize that no one may be able to answer some of these questions until the time comes and I don't dwell on them. They just pop up every once in awhile.
     If there is a stage that combines denial ands acceptance, it would describe me now. I decided to have surgery to remove all the tissue and some of the lymph nodes on my left side. While I accept that there are probably cancer cells circulating around my body since they have already metastasized to a lymph node in my abdomen, I am hoping that removing the left breast and tissue will remove all the cancer. My surgeon doesn't want to do the surgery. He's already written me off. His sister-in-law has stage IV breast cancer and has lived for six years. He is sure that the surgery will not help and will only disfigure. I told him that disfigurement didn't bother me or my husband so I have nothing to lose. Since he is going on vacation and booked in August, the surgery will be sometime in September. We also  have plans to go to Colorado the first week of Sept. because John's college football team is being inducted into the school''s hall of fame.
    So as I prepare for this surgery, I realize it may all be for naught while still holding a hope that it could be a cure. I have also gotten closer to accepting the fact that I may only live a few more years and am confident that God and an afterlife exists. I have given a lot of stuff away and am very comfortable in my small house. I don't lust after a bigger house or a new car but do order small things on the Internet. Each package seems like Christmas. In small ways they are signs that I'm going to be around to enjoy them. I don't anticipate having to be on chemo constantly. Most likely, the worst case scenario would be 6 months on chemo and 4 months off. when chemo no longer works or the effects of the chemo on other organs becomes too great, I am confident that God will bring me to a different kind of life.